Wednesday, March 08, 2006

no discipline

Do any of y'all have this problem? I am essentially a gift knitter. A huge part of the motivation to finish a project is the fact that it is intended for someone else. So I HAVE to get it done; for a birthday, for Christmas, whatever, there's a deadline.

This works well with my personality, because I am basically without self-discipline of any kind, and I am also that special kind of generous reserved mostly for Leos: I love to give people extravagantly hand-made things that they probably don't want or need. I'm also somewhat hyperactive, and knitting is like a meditation that calms me and slows me down; it's not really about a goal or a product, but a process. Having an intended recipient gets me to the finish line. This is like an inverse of the Bugheart gift-making impulse, which is in hyperdrive but less directly deadline-oriented.

So here's where the problem comes in: I can't really make things for myself. Okay, I can squeeze in a pair of socks or MAYBE a scarf once in a while, but this sweater I'm trying to make for myself? Not this winter, y'all. Who am I kidding - it's already spring!


Remember me? From two months ago, back when it was still winter and there was still a glimmer of hope?

Monday night I was working along, trying to pretend that the slow progress was pleasant and meditative and not driving me CRAZY, listening to all the terrible news from around the world (thanks a lot, BBC World Service). And it struck me that the neckline was way too deep. Not the look I was going for. Not the cute vintage cardigan look. So, I tried it on (because Barbara Walker is a goddess and taught us all that we can try on garments at any stage in the process! Top-down knitting - WOOO HOOOO! ahem, pardon me.) and yes, the neckline was way crazy boat-neck too deep. So... I put it aside, but it must all be ripped out.

And it's spring. When will I ever find the motivation to re-design and knit this whole damn thing?? For my birthday? For Christmas? PLEASE. Not happening.

So I went online and ordered some nice summerweight cotton-blend yarn to make a lacy shell to wear under blazers. Yes... for myself. Okay, but here's the thinking: if I design it, and the pattern is good, I can publish the pattern, right? Now, there must be deadlines involved with such a thing, right? Right? So maybe I can knit for myself.

We'll see.

How do y'all do it?

4 comments:

  1. Once again, you prove that you are such a wonderful woman. I'm too daggone selfish to let that luxurious yarn be knit for anyone else but me.

    What you term lack of discipline is what I term thoughtfulness...don't change a thing.

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  2. I like Kristy's comment. Maybe all the process-knitters can get together for a knit along. Everyone can make something for someone else. This could be a year-long along - with the knitted item being changed, say, quarterly. Then all of the process knitters could have something that was hand-knit for them - but by someone else. Just a thought. :-)

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  3. i almost never knit for myself... i am only motivated by making something to share... so i don't think i am too different... i am deadline motivated but i just try to do too much... so i miss deadlines and then they don't get done til the next deadline next year! i just have too many ideas and not enough time...wish i could say the same for my research.
    ;)

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  4. Hot Lava has fallen upon deaf knitting needles as well. Oh well it will be perfect for next fall. As long as mauve is still cool. As God as my witness, it will be finished by fall ... oh yeah and I will never go hungry again.

    Mnnn is it suppertime yet?

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