no more bourbon

this is bugheart
making a special appearance
here on ms. pea's blog...



i am holding ms. pea
captive in my apartment
the nation's capitol.
i am forcing her listen
to my father's lectures
on physics
and
the benefits of lactase...
all the while
plying her with bourbon.
for the
aforementioned reasons
so she is unable
to update her blog.

in my family
we have a name
for the person
that rescues you
when you
are buttonholed
by a person,
namely my father...
we call them
the sapper.
this term references
the british term
for one
who clears minefields.

ms. pea
has been
my guest sapper.
thank you
dear ms.pea!

sapping
cannot just
be left to anyone...
it takes
a very special friend
who is willing
to go in and rescue you.

do you find
it difficult
to introduce
your friends
to your parents...
especially when
you are much older?

i feel like those dreams
that you have
when you are a kid...
you know,
those ones
in which you
find yourself naked
in front
of the entire
6th grade class.
that's how i feel
when people meet
my parents.
it's like they have
a window
into me as
a little vulnerable kid.
they hear storeis
about how i would follow
my dad around the house
as a little girl
and tell him what to do
or
that i use to faint
all the time
during choir practice.
those weird stories
you usually don't tell people.
not because you
are particularly
embarassed by them...
but somehow when
your parent is
laughing over it
with your friend
it takes on
an embarassing quality
it never had before.
why does that happen?
is it because
you have some
cool cover
that is getting blown?
seems like
that's not how
you should feel
at 31 years old.
i am so glad
the person
to hear those stories
was f.pea...
i don't mind
her hearing these
embarassing stories
because i know
she will still love me
in the morning.

some of you know
f.pea well...
some of you know
her only through
her lovely blog...
but she really
is an amazing women
and my dearest
and closest of friends
here on the east coast.
she knits a mean
pair of socks

and booty shakes
and sings in
jack white's
fake-o
tennessee accent
like no other...
to name only
a few reasons
why
we are having
a rocking time
here in dc.


xo
and
good night ya'll...
your f.pea
is headed back to nc
tomorrow
and i have
dishes to clean.