Time to cultivate this feeling again.
It always feels so good to put a tough time behind me and start anew.
October is usually my favorite month, because of the wonderful weather, the colors, the crisp air and the chance to wear sweaters and scarves again. Our anniversary is in October, and the annual family camping trip.
But I've been anticipating October all year with some trepidation, because this year it was the month that I went back to work.
And it went pretty well, it really did. The Little Pea seems to be adjusting well, and HWWLLB is doing great as a stay-at-home-dad. Everything was in great shape at work when I got back there, and I seem to be getting back into the swing of things fairly well. But oh my goodness, the time.
I'll always think of this October as the month that I ran to get everywhere. Once I started back at work I didn't cook a meal, do a load of laundry that wasn't baby clothes, write a blog post (as you may have noticed) or go anywhere other than work and our house (and the family camping trip - I've almost recovered from that). I did eat three meals a day, sleep decently, enjoy time with the Little Pea and meet the deadlines I had to hit at work (just barely). HWWLLB and I even spent a little quality time together on our anniversary. But I have never tried so hard to keep it together - and I did keep it together - at such an incredibly bare-bones level. Holy moly. Is this the rest of my life?
I hope not.
Keeping it together is better than not, for sure, and I know that there are going to be times when I just can't keep it together anymore and just fall apart. But I need some free time back. This weekend I decided to help that along by clearing away some mental clutter and finishing a few projects that have been lying around.
Saturday I pulled out a stack of almost-finished knitted things that had been languishing for months. I sewed on buttons, sewed in tags, blocked and finished and put them away in the drawers (or gift bags) where they belong. Now Little Pea has a couple of spanky new sweaters to wear - just in time for some cool damp weather - and believe it or not, the sloth is almost done! I've finally finished all the knitting, and this weekend I pieced it together and felted it. I still have some finishing work to do, including some fancy needle-felting, but it's almost there! I can't wait to show it to you.
That was Saturday. Sunday is going to be the day for tidying. Our house is definitely showing the battle scars of the past month, and in particular my little areas are just atrocious. There isn't one more bare surface available for piling things on, and it's gnawing at my sanity. So today is the day to deconstruct piles, pay bills, recycle junk, do laundry, take things to the dry cleaner, and tie up all the other itty-bitty loose ends that have turned into such a snarl in my space. The perfect activity for a gray, rainy November Sunday (particularly if some knitting works its way into all that).
Nothing like a fresh start to another month - let this one be just a little less hectic than the last. Just a little?
It does get better, and you will have more time for all kinds of things. I remember that mad rush, on still very broken nights, and to be honest, I was very worn out. Then I got used to it, then I got more sleep, and finally, I got my life back.
ReplyDeleteit does get better, it does get easier and the times does come when the running slows and you find ways to take deep breathes and carve out proper time for yourself...
ReplyDeleteglad the first month was survived, hope the next one lets you all thrive. :)
Wow, you've been going gangbusters! Congrats on squeezing everything in AND managing alone time with your fella. As for the bout of finishitis, double congrats. Doesn't it feel great?
ReplyDeleteWell done on making it through the past months! You should be proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHope you get some time for a cup of hot tea, a good book (or one chapter of one) and some peace.
It does get better. You'll find a schedule that mostly works for you, and Little Pea will also get easier to manage (although in some ways harder).
ReplyDeleteThis is usual for new moms going back to work. Give it time and learn to "let go" of unnecessary stuff that has to get done. The hard lesson is that certain things don't have to be perfect just good enough. Luckily you are getting sleep. Imagine trying to function on 2-3 hours of sleep.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from. Remember your needs too... the rest gets done, whenever... I am a single Mom of two. If my kids are fed, clean, and have something to wear to school the next day, I consider it successful day. If I get the time to sit and knit, that is ice cream on the cake.
ReplyDeleteIt does get easier. Don't think of the big picture when you get home (I used to be on the way home and think... OMG! Tonight is soccer night and I have to get this load of laundry done and what will I make for dinner and will we have time for my son to study for his math test, etc. etc.). I learned to blank my mind out and read a good book and learn to relax. Or else I always thought I was running a marathon and got angry at the bus driver for being two min. late and angry at the driver in front of me because he/she was too slow or cursing the traffic lights when they turned red. On the bus I read... when I pick up my car at the bus station, I put on good relaxing music to drive home to. Then when I get home, I hug the kids and listen to them chat about their day. A happy Mom is much better than a stressed out one when you get home. You can focus better on what needs to be done.
I promise... it will get easier.
Kim