a cautionary tale

...from the files of my domestic ineptitude.

In case you wondering whether to fuss with staple guns and the like, take a look at my porch as the poster child for why you shouldn't use duct tape to hang up your Xmas lights.


from the street you can hardly tell, really...


safety orange is the new red & green.

And this is why you're supposed to obey if the box tells you not to string together more than 3 strands of lights from one outlet. They just can't cram enough electricity into those little wires, I guess.


just a few feet of bulbs out. no biggie.

I'm sure my neighbors are loving this. Did I ever tell you about how we live in a fancy historic neighborhood where you have to get the Historic Districts Commission's approval for paint colors? Or how my (now former) next-door-neighbor filed official complaints with the city against another neighbor for letting her flowers grow onto the sidewalk? Or how that neighbor's husband snuck over to the house of my next-door-neighbor (on the other side)'s house while she was on vacation to pull weeds in her yard? Hi! We're all friends here! Wheeee!

I'm expecting the Historic Districts Commission to send me a notice of violation for Aggravated Tackiness any day now.