Thursday, August 10, 2006

freezerdom isn't freeze

That's the sad situation in my refridgerator, where things on the bottom half stay nicely chilled, but the ice cream is soup and the ice cubes melt as soon as they hit the sweet tea. Nothing like a heat wave to make you appreciate the little things your household appliances (ought to) do for you.

So things in the freezer are kind of lackluster, but out in the internets, whoo boy! All kinds of things are happening. First, I'm just overjoyed that someone, namely Macoco, knitted up one of my Free Pattern Friday patterns, and she even posted a picture and said nice things! Hello, baby wrapper! Nice work Macoco - it came out beautifully! I am honored to have been knitted by the Craft Pirate. All this warm fuzzy makes me so glad to be doing this (occasional) free patterns thing. In fact, it makes me itchy to post the next pattern! I appreciate the inspiration.

I'm struggling a little bit though with posting garments. So far I've posted lots of little things, but no clothes. I knit my own tops & sweater designs all the time, but I can't imagine doing all the sizing. Is there a secret formula that in-the-know designers use to magically create a whole mess of sizes out of a medium? And how do you know they will work without actually knitting all the different sizes, which there is no way in hades I'm going to do? If I do manage get this figured out, maybe I'll be able to post the patterns for a couple of the tops I've been working on lately.

I'm also learning some things about the internets tonight from my sister, who showed me how you can use MySpace to spy on people. Well, I can't, because I don't have an account, but she logged in and gave me a tour of all the people who graduated high school with us. The big news is: they all had babies and got fat. Or got fat and had babies, I don't know which came first - for the guys, the beer bellies were already setting in by senior year. There is far less kiddie porn, and far more baby pictures, than I had ever imagined there would be on this weapon of mass child exploitation that I keep hearing about on the news.

I will say this, there is a lot of cleavage on MySpace. A lot of cleavage. More than I needed to see in this lifetime. It's nice how people use their best features to attract someone's attention on the internets, thereby securing a lifetime of bliss with a mate who truly appreciates their real self. Headline: "It's all about me." Name: "Princess." Photo of cleavage, vapid expression. This is apparently the formula for eternal happiness, and we saw it OVER and OVER and OVER as we trawled the profiles for people we knew.

My sister's narrative as we scanned the profiles:

"Ho bag... Baby... Ho bag... Ho bag... Ho bag... Baby... Who is that ho bag - wasn't she in your class? Baby... Baby... Ho bag."

Perhaps we are not the kindest of critics. At any rate, it was all rather disturbing and I had to spend twenty minutes afterwards reading craft blogs to purge the torrid images from my eyes. I almost feel clean again. If only I could soothe myself with some ice cream. Alas, we have only cool chocolate mush.

...did that sound kind of naughty to you?


  1. So, the old fridge is doin' ya wrong, huh? Just think how it would have been if you still had your old, old fridge ;-)

    My Space. As much an Internet addict as I am...I still haven't ventured into that side of the world. Judging from your review, I don't think I'll be in too big a hurry to do so!

  2. Thanks for the shout out f.pea! I can't say enough nice things about the baby wrapper. My friend wrote to tell me that she loves the baby wrapper and promises to send pictures of the wrapper and baby soon. ;)

    I went onto MySpace today to see if I could hunt down some old classmates and I immediately felt like an old lady - but fortunately, not a Ho Bag. ;)

  3. Ugh! I refuse to get a MySpace account, because anyone and everyone can totally read your business! It is also how I discovered that my boyfriend was cheating on me, how my friend was cheating on his girlfriend, and how the cute new guy at work is totally gay. I'd rather people found out personal information about me through good old-fashioned gossip!

  4. eeeee.
    sounds gross.
    i thought
    it was
    all high school
    i feel so
    out of it


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